Finally got the blog up!

OK, so I finally am going to do this blog thing... The truth is, I am far too busy to take on another project. The bitter truth is that if I don't do things like Blog and diet when I'm busy they aren't sustainable... So why blog? Why add to the insane amount of content generated daily online? I miss writing. I used to write frequently. In fact, I used to feel guilty and frustrated when I didn't write. Through my teen years and early twenties I penned hundreds of journal pages and dozens of songs as well as several scripts. Then, in my mid twenties I stopped. I can, and have, blamed a lot of different factors for this - including a grammar Nazi girlfriend who made me feel like I couldn't write - but in the end the only one who decides if I write or not is me. I want to own this fact and be more intentional about the every day life stuff... As I entered college, I started learning about the "academic voice." The words "I" and "you" were banned from my lexicon and clarity took a backseat to augmentative words (or more honestly-bloated words) over compensating for small ideas. I let go of my beloved hyphen, a symbol deeply prevalent in my writing. I watched my voice fade as the words of my freshman comp prof rang in my ears; "it's too late to teach you to write well, now we focus on damage control." Ironically, Zinsser's masterpiece "On Writing Well" would never factor into my academic writing.

Please don't misunderstand, I value education and am thankful for the opportunities I've had to expand my thinking and rack up tons of debt - but I've despised the loss of my voice... In the end, loosing my voice is my choice, and only I can prevent it. And so, I must write. I will not be happy in this life if I do not write. OK, that's a bit dramatic - I think it stems form a desire to believe I am a writer... It's often said of writing - "if you can be happy doing anything else, do it!" So I guess a part of me has to believe that in order to be a good writer I must be miserable if I don't write... That's kinda dumb. I have so many reasons to be happy. I have a savior who redeemed me, a family that loves me and friends I'd die for. And, I may not be a "real writer" but I do know that I ended that last sentence with a preposition and then started this one with a contraction. "You're welcome grammar Nazis!"

So perhaps, as I write - be it reflection, fiction, or otherwise - I will indulge in a self serving journey that yields no marketable good... If so - GREAT! Likewise, perhaps I write the next great novel - but all indications point to no... Heck, I'd be happy to write a book - and thrilled if anyone read it and didn't hate it entirely.

The Dream

reader:  Mr Wyatt, I read your novel
me:       Please, call me Matthew
reader:  OK, Matthew. I just wanted to say, of all the books I've read, yours was one of them.
me:        Thanks, that means a lot to me. Did anything stand out about it, or strike you in some way?
reader:   Yes, the entire novel struck me when a burglar broke into my home and tried to use it as a weapon against me.
me:        I'm sorry?
reader:  Thankfully, you didn't manage to squeeze out enough pages to make the book dangerous - so I was fine.
me:       Oh... well, that's good I suppose.
reader:  I guess, what I'm trying to say is - I'm truly thankful for the words you didn't write.
me:       My pleasure... any time you want me to not write something just let me know... Here's my card - I printed that!
reader:  Ahhh... no thanks.

life's work accomplished...